I'm dying.
Last night was too much and nearly killed me.
Okay, I'm exaggerating.
But still.

I had 2 sparks and a shot of Sailor.
That damn sailor.... ALWAYS makes me sick.
And let's just be honest here, that's not even close to the most I've had to drink in one night as of late.
So, I'm really upset it got me so sick.

T: Well, what did you have to eat today?
Me: Not much.
T: Well, there you go.

I slept until almost 1pm, I'm drinking water and I ate a corndog.
I have to work at 3:30, though, so I'm really hoping to feel better STAT.

Last night was really... awkward and strange.
I have this conundrum where I really enjoy seeing people I enjoy- but in order to do that in such a social situation, I have to see people I don't enjoy/make me feel uncomfortable... Like girls who continued to text my boyfriend when he and I were together... Listen, honey, I'm not going to pretend we're friends when I actually want to punch your face in.
Sigh.

He was there, of course, where else would he be.
He had to play the role of Prizzle last night. And he sure did a great job.
He was mean and mouthy and awful and I told him so.... via text from the back of the house, because I didn't want to deal with him and his stupid fraternity friends and their fucking mouths.

I'm just so tired of being angry and bitter, and I just want him to love me and come back to me- is that too much to ask?
Ughhh, I cried last night.
I got sad drunk and it was awful.
T is a wonderful friend. I cried and said pathetic things like "I just want him to love me- why doesn't he love me?"
And she would be nice to me and empathize...

I don't know what God's plan is in this mess of a life.... but I don't get how the puzzle pieces fit together.
I know we don't see the puzzle- it's too big for us.
But it would be nice to have some sneak peeks on occasion...