There is a hummingbird in her chest.

On my days off, I sit on my couch and read articles about up-coming politicians, articles about injustices that shouldn't happen in America, the land of the free, articles about lesbian couples who lose their baby because the hospital they attended wouldn't recognize the couple's rights as a domestic partnership.

On my days off, I sit on my couch and cry, because my heart breaks for this country. For the future.
It probably doesn't help, at all, that I'm also listening to Andrea Gibson, whose views mirror mine.

I live in what I consider to be the most conservative, Bible-thumping, anti-liberal, anti-gay, pro slut/gay/atheist-shaming town in America, and it's starting to wear on me.

The other night, I attended the City Council meeting for the first reading of the non-discrimination policy.
I had decided that while I was in Springfield, I was going to help inspire change, instead of complaining about the bigots and the religious crazies and the fundies and all the awful humans who compare those in the LGBT community as "coke addicts", "perverts and pedophiles" and other such ridiculous insults.

Some days, that's easier to say than to do.

I really hesitated on whether or not to write this post, because my own thoughts are still a little jumbled.
There were really awful things said, but for every horrible statement, there was at least one positive statement.
It wasn't an overwhelming majority, but according to the City of Springfield twitter account, 36 speakers were in favor, 27 against, and 13 still in the queue to speak at the next meeting. (But according to KSPR, the numbers were a little different...)

Considering the way I just described this town, this is very exciting news.

The opposition said several times that this ordinance is unnecessary because LGBT people in Springfield are not discriminated against; that there were no cases reported, no stats or numbers on which to rely.
Supporters said time after time that LGBT people in Springfield have no place to go after having been discriminated against because there's no protections, no ordinances set in place to protect those Springfield citizens.

I know for a fact that the belief of the opposition is incorrect.
Because I'm one of those LGBT kids who've been hated, harassed, heckled and discriminated against in the workplace.

It was before I came out.
I was still the Q in LGBTQ.
I was still trying to be straight, and praying to God that my feelings for girls would go away.
I was working at the mall - a job I'd had for almost five years when I quit. It was a part time job to get me through college.
I had seen management come and go, I'd seen other employees come and go - though the ones that stuck around were other LGBTQ kids. There were at least 4 of us.

As management changed, the store changed - sometimes for the better, and at the end, for the worse.
One night, a girl from my roller derby league came into the store.. It was just before Christmas and we were open for 24 hours. I was working 3rd shift. 10pm to 6am, I believe.
She was drunk, and with her boyfriend. She marched directly up to my manager, who I'll refer to as K, and asked "Where's my wife!"
(.....For those of you who don't know, in roller derby, we have wives. It's merely another title for a derby best friend. Someone who'd cut you off when you'd accepted too many shots, and someone who could say "You're skating like shit tonight" without hurting your feelings.)

Eventually my friend found me on her own, after K was rude to her.
My pal had brought me ice cream. It was delicious at 1am.

Later that night, in the back room with all the employees, K asked, and I quote "You play roller derby?"
I responded "Yes. I do."
With a snarl and sarcasm in her voice she said "I didn't know you were a lesbian."
I said "I'm not."
She said "So why'd that girl call you her wife?"
...I then explained derby wives.
She nodded a little, and walked away.

And that's what I thought would be the end of things.
On the contrary, it was the beginning.

I found out a few days later that after my friend had referred to me as her wife, K had asked one of my co-workers (and friends outside of work) if I was gay.
The co-worker responded that I'm straight, and not gay... K responded back "Whatever. I always thought she was gay anyway."

The amount comments K would make to other people behind my back about my sexuality were unnecessary and uncalled for, and extremely unprofessional.
No, correction. The fact that she asked about my sexuality at all was unprofessional.
The fact that she even asked about my sexuality at all, as if it had anything to do with her job as manager, or my job as an associate, was unprofessional.

My hours started to diminish.
I needed at least 20 a week in order to pay my bills as a student; K knew this.
I began getting 4 hours a week.

I decided to speak with the other LGBTQ kids at work, to see if they'd experienced anything similar with K.
I wasn't surprised when they all said yes.
Cut hours, derogatory remarks made to their faces and behind their backs....
When the merchandising manager (an LGBT boy) told me that K had said things like "Jesus, you look gay today" or "Your outfit is so gay" or other statements she would then laugh about and walk away... I decided enough was enough.

I contacted corporate HR with my complaints.
I wrote any email, expressing my desire to remain anonymous in my complaint, but that there were more people at work who would be happy to put their name on their complaint, but that I needed the job to continue going to school and paying my bills. I explained I did not dislike the company for which I worked, but I did not, and could not, approve of K's behavior, as it made me very uncomfortable.

If I'm being honest, I was sick of K's behavior. She was rude to associates and customers. She blatantly discriminated against the LGBT kids that worked for her. She was down right mean to everyone. I wanted her fired for her behavior, because there were several times she made me cry- sometimes in front of customers. I wanted her fired. It's an injustice to treat people like they're less-than.

The company is a branch of a large retail corporation that should have done something about this situation.

I actually spoke to the HR representative on the phone.
She was friendly, but unhelpful.
I never got to the bottom of the situation, considering things got so bad that I quit.
I have a very high tolerance for bullshit - I can put up with a lot.
But constant harassment, and fear, and anxiety about a part time job at the mall was not worth my health or self-worth.
I know for a fact that manager is still employed at the store, leaving me to believe that nothing happened. Nothing changed. There were no consequences for K after she bullied 4 LGBT kids.
All of whom have given up their jobs at that store, might I add.
Two were hired by another company.
The Merchandising Manager asked for a transfer to another store in another town.
Me? I'm doing just fine now. I have a great job with managers/bosses who love me, and don't care if I'm gay. They just care that I do a great job and I don't steal money.

My story is nothing compared to others.
Even Girlfriend's story is horrifying and eye-opening and unbelievable. Her story is so much worse than mine.

There are so many LGBT people who have these stories, but with no consequences, with no one to answer to, people can keep harassing and discriminating and being complete assholes to those with a different gender identity or sexual orientation.
And because there's no protection, why would anyone ever willingly recant their story to someone who very likely doesn't care about this LGBT plight?

This ordinance needs to pass in order to protect Springfield citizens.
This ordinance needs to pass so LGBT college kids will decide to stay in Springfield and help grow the economy.
This ordinance needs to pass so that I will have hope for good communities again.
This ordinance needs to pass so I won't feel, every single day, that I need to get out of here.

Springfield needs this to raise morale and the economy and honestly, to keep the diversity levels up.
It's not like there are an abundance of non-white people here. (Except for the Asian kids who attend MSU....) So, I mean... Springfield kind of needs a gay population. It's not like anyone else wants to live here right now....


Because the 3 hour time allotment was met, and because so many people did not get to speak, this topic has been carried over to another meeting.

Adam Crawford had this to say in the PFLAG Springfield page:

If you were not able to attend the city council meeting on the nondiscrimination ordinance last night, but would like to speak, you CAN still sign up to talk at the next city council meeting. They probably won't extend the public hearing to a third meeting, so if it goes over time again, then that's it; no more speakers. Therefore, you're strongly encouraged to sign up early with the City Clerk (417-864-1650). The 3 minute time limit still applies. If you've already spoken, you will not be allowed to be speak again.

The meeting will be Monday, August 27th @ 6:30pm, City Council chambers (830 N. Boonville). Please do so if you can. We need your support.


I'm angry, I'm sad... and I want to see some progress.

Patience has never been a virtue that I naturally possessed.

VAGINE REGIME!

The following is a press release about Vagine Regime’s new film project, straight from GoGo! Donate, donate, donate! This is SUCH a great opportunity and endeavor for all the queer roller derby folks!
______________________________________________________________________

[Homespun Pictures]

Contact: Bernard Parham
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Tel: 423.505.8869
Email: bernardcasting@gmail.com

Contact: Erica Tremblay
Tel: 310.944.8519
Email: snippypete@gmail.com

ROLLER DERBY VETERANS BEGIN PRE-PRODUCTION ON DOCUMENTARY
ABOUT GAY, QUEER, AND TRANSGENDER SKATERS

Los Angeles, CA—Filmmaker and former roller derby coach Erica Tremblay (AKA Go-Go Gidget) has partnered with fellow skater and activist Tori Talavera (AKA Injure Rogers) on VAGINE REGIME: a feature-length documentary about gay, transgender, and queer athletes in the roller derby community.

VAGINE REGIME is not just the title of their documentary, it is also the name of a global collective of queer derby skaters. The Vagine Regime originated online in 2005, and it has since evolved into a real-world community with an express mission to celebrate and promote acceptance of queer athletes in the derby world.

VAGINE REGIME is currently in pre-production, and it has an estimated budget of $35,000. The producers are raising funds via the Kickstarter social media site, and contributions can be made at the following link:http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ericatrembay/the-vagine-regime-a-documentary-where-vaginas-coll.

This documentary is the second project produced by Homespun Pictures, the production company founded by Los Angeles-based Producer/Director(s) Bernard Parham and Erica Tremblay in 2011.

Their previous project, the feature-length documentary HEARTLAND, profiled survivors of last year’s tragic tornado strike in Joplin, MO. HEARTLAND was screened in Joplin last May and received rave reviews; it is currently on the festival circuit. 

Ah, geez. I gave in.

**this post is doing that weird colored text/background thing again. Drives me CRAZY. I know it's from copying and pasting... but still**

I really didn't want to write an entire post about ChickFilA.

But.
Facebook always inspires anger in me... Very specifically, my Mother's facebook. (While we're not friends, sometimes I go to her page and see what she's up to.)

And unfortunately, she posted a link to the most ridiculous petition I've ever seen, which of course she signed, and shared so more ridiculous people would sign.

I. can't. even.

Can I petition a petition?
(You will find all petition excerpts to be italicized.)


Recently, Chick-Fil-A president Dan Cathy announced that the restaurant chain supports the traditional view of marriage as between one man and one woman. While this stance may offend many, it is within Chick-Fil-A’s right to free speech, and furthermore, Chick-Fil-A does not discriminate on the basis of race, gender, or sexuality with regard to service or employment. Therefore, Chick-Fil-A cannot be construed as an intolerant organization; rather, it simply states its beliefs in a legal and civil manner.


.....wut?

I'm pretty sure they are seen as intolerant because
1. They don't provide the same benefits for queer employees. How could they when they don't support gay marriage?
2. It's not their stance on marriage that's pissing people off - let's all be honest, how many people were actually surprised this closed-on-sunday Jesus-y Bible thumping corporation is against gay marriage? Not this girl. It's knowing that I have eaten there, and I have thereby funded a corporation's donation to blatantly anti-gay organizations.
2a. I wouldn't give a shit if Dan Cathy in all his holier-than-thou-self-righteous-my-seat-in-heaven-will-be-gold-laden-and-faaaaabulous-religious-bigot- you're-not-getting-into-heaven-faggot-self donated every single one of his PERSONAL pennies to anti-gay causes. PEOPLE can do that. It's when CORPORATIONS do that... with MY money!
3. Furthermore, fuck you. I've only eaten there a handful of times, but I want my $20 back. 

On the other hand, the “Gay Rights” petition, by its very nature, stands as an example of intolerance. The First Amendment guarantees freedom of speech, and Dan Cathy was within the legal parameters of the First Amendment by stating his views, and that of the establishment, with regard to marriage. In sharp contrast, the “Gay Rights” petition moves to terminate the existence, presence, and practice of Chick-Fil-A and its business, a clear example of intolerance. Each party has the right to disagree with respect to their beliefs; it is common knowledge that America was founded upon the principles of religious freedom and respectful disagreement. However, the “Gay Rights” petition crosses the line from disagreement to intolerance in its attempt to shut down Chick-fil-A.

1. I was unaware we were trying to shut them down. If we tried to shut down every corporation that disagreed with gays and homo marriage... well, that would be exhausting. It's simple - it's the only power we have as pawns in the Corporation chess game: simply choose NOT to give our money to corporations/projects/people who don't share the same morals/values/ideals that we do. They'll stay open. But, I'm not giving them MY money.
2. GAY RIGHTS ARE THE SAME AS BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS. THEY'RE THE SAME DAMN THING.

• I want to be happy and feel secure in the country in which I currently choose to live. 
• I want to get married, and perhaps have the same benefits (especially those of insurance) as Straight kids.
• I want to have babies of my own AND adopt some babies. 
• I want to be able to visit Girlfriend in the hospital if, Deity forbid, something were to happen to her.
• I want to know I'm not going to be fired just for being a homo. 
• I want to know that I'll be able to find, and keep, housing, despite the fact that I'm homo.

2b. Honestly, I think the Religious Community is more concerned with what's happening in my bedroom than I am. I mean, I don't give a shit what's happening in your boring sex life, so stop caring if/why/when I'm homo.
2c. Maybe the religious folk just need to get laid.
3. Tolerance is like respect. If you give it to me, I'll give it to you. You don't see my Gay Agenda getting all up in YOUR bed, so get out of mine.
3a. American was founded on respectful disagreement? Whaaaa....? Last I heard a bunch of people came over here for the SAME reason - therefore agreement. Not disagreement... Or maybe they skipped over the "Respectful Disagreement" section in all my American History classes.




Chick-Fil-A has every right to support any cause they choose, just as Office Depot has every right to support 'gay marriage.' Chick-Fil-A has never refused a sandwich to a homosexual or those in support of homosexuality. Their choice to support whatever causes they believe through donations and statements is entirely within their rights. It does not produce or formulate a "hostile environment for queer youth and allies." At least, no more so than Office Depot does for those who support traditional marriage. And I see no petition to stop purchases through KU from Office Depot. 

Uh. No. No no no no no.
1. Chick-Fil-A's funding DIRECTLY supports anti-gay groups, which helps perpetuate the idea that it's okay to blatantly despise, hate, bully, hold down, discriminate gays AND THEREFORE perpetuate the idea that it's OKAY to "create hostile environments for queer youth and allies"... and all other queers, regardless of age.
1a. According to 6 varying sources, Chick-Fil-A has donated an estimated 5 million dollars (2003-2010)  to Anti-Gay groups such as Exodus International (which spreads the idea that gays can, and should, be 'cured'... but RECANTED their mission  and apologized to all the Christian gays), Marriage and Family Foundation, Family Research Council.
1b. "Chick-fil-A has donated at least $5 million to organizations (including a certified hate group) that, among other things, depict gay people as pedophiles, want to make "gay behavior" illegal, and even say gay people should be "exported" out of America." Source
1c. Let's face it: despite what the company's president says, Chick-Fil-A is an anti-gay corporation," wrote Tyler Coates in Blackbook. "I hate Chick-Fil-A, and not just because I think pieces of chicken slathered in pickle juice is inherently revolting. I hate Chick-Fil-A because Chick-Fil-A hates me. You know what I do have a problem with? The fact that the company gives so much g**damn money to anti-gay groups. Source
2. Why are they bringing up Office Depot? Do they think they can redirect the attention from themselves to Office Depot? Unlikely. No one boycotts businesses that are friendly and open and support equality.
2a. It's more than just gays who are included in the ideal of "equality". It's every single person who has EVER identified as a minority. (Yes. Even Christians. They were a minority once, too... It's just unfortunate  that now, the only Christians in the minority are the awesome ones.)

If Chick-Fil-A is undeservedly banned from the campus, there will certainly not be the “diversity and inclusion” that supporters of the petition claim is so important. There will only be those who disagree with traditional marriage. While, a sizeable number of students and faculty may feel this way, it is certainly not representative of the entirety of those who make up the staff and student body of the University of Kansas. If those who disagree with Chick-Fil-A’s stance don’t want to support its values, then by all means, they can stop eating there. Chick-Fil-A’s stance has always (or at least, for some time) been this way. That is, one of supporting traditional family values and biblical principles. It is only of late, when those values were reaffirmed, that those in disagreement sought its removal from KU’s campus. Chick-Fil-A has served quality food with respect and integrity to all who come through its doors. There is no valid reason why disagreement from those opposed to Chick-Fil-A’s values should succeed in not allowing Chick-Fil-A to be in existence, presence, or practice.


1. Honestly, if things get banned from a campus, it's because students rallied around a cause and made it happen. It's not because all Teh Gayz got up in arms and decided to run them out of town on a rail.
1a. Diversity and Inclusion means that no one discriminates against anyone else. And maybe without Chick-Fil-A they can get back to doing that.
1b. If it's being banned because of a student petition it CLEARLY is the majority of students wanting Chick-Fil-A to the fuck out of Dodge.
1c. orrrrrrrr MAYBE THEY DON'T EVEN LIKE YOUR CHICKEN.
2. NO ONE DISAGREES WITH 'TRADITIONAL' MARRIAGE. Get married, we don't give a fuck. But we want to get married, too. Bottom line. That's all.
3. If you're supporting 'Biblical principles', support them all. Why are you picking and choosing? Because the ones you choose benefit you and make you feel less guilty?

From The West Wing “The Midterms” (2x03).

Bartlet: I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.

Jenna Jacobs: I don’t say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President, the Bible does.

Bartlet: Yes, it does. Leviticus.

Jenna Jacobs: 18:22.

Bartlet: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I’m interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She’s a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, and always clears the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My chief of staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here’s one that’s really important, ‘cause we’ve got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes us unclean - Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing: while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tightass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits.

Lastly, what the actual fuck is this petition petitioning? The opinions of everyone else in the world? The fact that KU doesn't want Chick-Fil-A on their campus anymore? I'm not even sure.

This existence of this petition is absurd.



In other news, while researching this topic, I found this.
Granted, it IS Fox News (but hey. I wrote in my last post that you should read all the sources in order to form A, facts and then B, opinions.)
Those comments drew a sharp response from Rev. William Owens of the Coalition of African American Pastors. “Some people are saying that because of the position that Chick-fil-A is taking, they don’t want them in their cities. It is a disgrace. It is the same thing that happened when I was marching for civil rights, when they didn’t want a black to come into their restaurant," he told a press conference in Washington, DC.

And in closing, I'd like to point out the irony of 666 people have signed the petition at this very moment.