Dear You,


I don't need you anymore.

I don't need you, but I want you.
I want you around still.
And I want you to want me. (Thanks, Cheap Trick.)


But I don't need you anymore.
I am happy, and I am smart and I am complete.
And I don't need you.

I used to think I needed you to get by, to survive.
But I never needed you.
You were a great help, yes.
But everything I did, I did on my own.
And could've done without you.

Christy was right- I lived 24 years without you, and I can live without you now.

So. Here's to me.
And my life.
And my future.

I'm not to the point where I can wish you luck and love and happiness- afterall, I still want to key your car everytime I see it.
But, for now, I wish you contentment and that journey of self-discovery.
And really, that's a lot.
That's me wishing YOU a lot.

But you don't know that yet.
Because you're still young. And you're still a frat boy. And you're still selfish and living off your parent's money so that you can pay your bills with their dollar and not your own.
And I can't have that anymore.
It was too much, and it was too hard- and you couldn't recognize the times when I needed a strong support versus when you thought I was being a drama queen.

So. I hope you find yourself.
And maybe I'll be lucky enough to hang out with your family again... because God knows they loved me. And I sure loved them.

I did love you.
And I still do.
I just won't say it outloud anymore.
Because you don't deserve it.
And I daresay, you never did.

Love (in secret), Me