A little emo today.. It's probably because I'm so tired.
I'm currently skipping class to take a nap, but I have so much coffee coursing through my veins that I probably couldn't sleep if I tried.

I'm pretty scared about practice tonight...
Not because I'm not fierce, because I am... but mostly because if I get hurt, I'm fucked in a lot of ways.
I won't be able to play.... and, of course, I don't have insurance.
I play like I'm scared because I know if I get hurt, it'll cost way too much to get fixed. ...And I know how fixing something feels. Recovering from my ankle surgery was not a good time.

I need insurance... I'm constantly terrified my appendix will burst, or I'll get hit by a car... or... whatever, you know?
I don't want to have to worry about this... I really wish I'd graduated on time and I had a job now.

But then again... if I had graduated on time.. where would I be now? And would I have derby? Would I have the friends I do?
Those aren't things I would be willing to compromise now, knowing all that I do now.

Hmm.
Those are my current musings.
Maybe I will try to sleep.. I need all the energy I can get for tonight....