Another angry letter.

Listen, you stupid faggot.

Yes. I'm still in love with you.
Yes. It still pisses me off to see old pictures of you with another girl. (Not new pictures, because let's be honest- you broke up with me because your fraternity brothers didn't like the fact that I'm responsible and want you to graduate someday.)
Yes. Every time I see your car, I want to key it. And smash the windows. And set it on fire.
Yes. I want to stab you in the neck.

And yes. I'm still in love with you.
And yes. I fucking hate it.

I have reached this point where I am perfectly happy about where I am in life. Things might be shitty from time to time but I get by. Because that's what I do.
But I'm happy. I've come to the realization that if I have to buy a house by myself, I'll do it. I'll get a puppy. I'll pay my bills with my money and everything will be fine. Because everything IS fine.

But I would still rather be with you.
You have been the only person EVER to make me feel like I could build a life and a future with someone.
That I could get married and have babies and fold laundry on Saturday afternoon.

Literally the only person ever.

I didn't want shit before I met you.
I wanted to graduate and get a job and buy a house and have a place of my own.
And then there was you.
And now everytime I see a pregnant lady my age, my uterus skips a beat.
I wanted that with YOU. Not with someone else.

I can't fault you for being younger than me.
But I can fault you for giving me up so easily.

I'm angry.
In general, I'm very angry right now.
And it has to do with the fact that all the people I love in this world leave.
The die or they give up or they can't handle me and then they're gone.

I was really hoping you'd prove me wrong.
But you didn't.
And now I'm angry.



...that's all i've got tonight. I'm exhausted and lonely and angry.
And I miss you and your idiocy.