Jello.

I started a new work out cycle today created by SRG's alum/KCRW current skater, Mary Lou Wretched.

I may or may not have said several times "Fuck that ho" and "I hate that bitch" while I did weighted lunges and cardio and Supermans and push ups....

I will love her in 3 weeks once I get my new cycle. :)

And when my shoulders and ass look amazing and my abs are smaller and I look incredible in my soon to be new little black dress. (Pin Up inspired. Platform peep toe heels. :D)

I'm just excited it's all happening.

And by that I mean I'm so excited I'M making it happen.

There was a possibility for a bet between myself and Russellmania for whoever lost the most body fat percentage by the first of the year.

I kindly declined.

While yes, it would inspire me to work harder... That's 1.5 months.

That's 6 weeks.

And while, yes, a lot can happen in 6 weeks... I just want to do this slowly and on my terms. :)

I had 1 week of working out... then a week off because I'm a lazy ass...

But today starts week 2 of consistent working out.

And I can already tell a difference.

My pants are all too big.

And so are my cardigans...

And I'm gonna have to go shopping, which I hate... but when is there a better time to buy new shit but when you're too small for all of your current shit. :)

However, I will say that my thighs/ass have gotten bigger.

Of course.. that's derby.

But it's bizarre to think that my waist and hips are getting smaller, but my muscles in my tush and thighs are getting super toned, and therefore bigger.

I'll never be teeny tiny and that's okay with me.

This journey is not about weight loss (although that will happen by default) it is about health and fitness.

So, yes... Maybe someday, if I work really fucking hard, I can look like this....
And who wouldn't want to? Homegirl is H-O-T. Toned, fit and still curvy!

instead of this:

And honestly... who the fuck would want to look like this? I mean, even Gemma Ward no longer looks like Gemma Ward, and good for her!!

(Okay... sorry, all you girls who love being impossibly skinny... But I like to eat, and I like to be strong... So, this is not a look I'll ever chase after.....)

Here's the thing about working out -

I sleep better.

I feel better.

I look better.

I feel more capable.

My confidence is directly related to how much and how hard I work out.

I get up on time. I get to work on time. I work harder, not just in the weight room....

So yeah.

Maybe it will take a while to look like surfer girl up there - but here's the thing. Fitness and health won't happen every night.

Every pound is a victory.

Every inch calls for celebration.

And every new muscle is worth a party in the street.

So, yes. Today, I am made of jello.

My shoulders have finally started to stop shaking.

My quads are still on fire....

And I'm a happy, happy, sleepy girl.