Full.

Even if my 3 miles are slow, I'm still going faster than that person still sitting on their couch.

Today my brain is extremely full of thoughts and ideas and paradigm changes... And I needed to clear my head.

So I went running.

I put on a playlist, stuck my ear buds in my ears, and ran.

(Nicki Minaj and Bright Eyes were my running partners today...)

I'm slow.

My form is not the best.

My breathing is sometimes erratic.

But I run, and I try, and I won't give up.

I've given up on living a healthy lifestyle too many times.

Today was my 5th day working out this week.

It should've been six, but sometimes, you just run out of hours in the day.

I can feel my muscles getting stronger. I can go for longer, and harder.

I can feel my spirit lifting, even if just a little, each time I sweat and catch my breath. Each time I up the weights on the machines....

I have issues with being 'in a mood'....

Working out fixes that.

If I'm in a shitty mood, I go run. (Endorphins are powerful.)

If I'm sad, I go lift weights. (They make me feel strong, and powerful and in control.)

If I'm pining over someone, I do push ups and core work outs... Because I feel if your core is strong, so is your heart.

And maybe that's a bit more spiritual and metaphysical subject matter than I usually write about... But these days, I feel everything is connected.

My heart, my soul, the earth, my breath when I run, the wind in the trees..

Working out fills my head, and my heart, with good thoughts.

When I run, I'm running away from the bad thoughts, the bad moods, the bad attitudes, the self-doubt.

And you know, maybe "running away" has negative connotations. But in this case, I mean that I'm leaving it behind.

I'm not a 5th grader, mad at my Mommy for telling me "no".. I'm mad at myself, and the world, for telling me no.

Because yes, I can. And yes, I will.

I'm so tired of hearing "no" all the time.

I don't know where I'm going with this...

The point is - It's all happening. It's all connected. It's all worth working for.

And if I have to stop eating carbs forever, I'll do it if it means I can skate like Suzy Hotrod, hit like Beyonslay, and look like that previously posted surfer girl....

My brain is full... my thoughts are everywhere... Can you tell? :)