After much delay and fighting to avoid it, I've finally reached the Big Girl portion of my life.
I interviewed for a full time position at a music store in town. Of course my 5-10 year goal is opening a bakery, but I have to have a way to pay the bills.
However, I had an interview with a music business in town today, their immediate response to my interview went as follows:
Hi Melanie,
You made quite an impression on Rachel & Kate - they came back to my office and told me to just hire you! :D
But first, you have to make the same impression on me. So, do you have time this week to meet with me? I was thinking we could meet for breakfast, either tomorrow or Friday...
D******
Vice President - Springfield Music
So, I had breakfast with the VP this morning.
They also thought I was hilarious, so that's definitely a plus! They asked me what my strengths are.. I said, and I quote "My sparkling personality and dazzling wit" (thank you, Sandra Day O'Slaughter for such a lovely quote to use!) They were impressed with my summer of studying abroad, even if it wasn't for music. The boys in the office love that I'm a "band person", and made jokes about how french horn players never know what to do with their hand when you kiss them. heh...
However. He made it sound as if I have to chose between playing derby and working.
Which sucks SO much because I need roller derby. NEED!
But I also need a job.
The job is amazing - I'd be making good money, working with good people, in a field that I will have a degree in! (Not a lot of people can say they're working in their desired field. And while yes, I am a performance major and I'd prefer a job in a major symphony- that's not going to happen unless someone dies or quits. And neither happen in orchestras! haha)
In about 6 months, I'd have the opportunity for promotion, possibly obtaining the Education Coordinator spot, or something similar - which would possibly change my schedule to not working on Saturdays, and working daytime hours.
AMAZING. I'd be working with the education side of things and I could tell my old MusEd advisor to suck it, because even without his help, I still got a job in education without my teaching certificate.
Getting a job as a roller girl is a catch-22 - You can't play derby without a job/money/income, but you can't play derby WITH a job...
I know, and am well aware, that I will take this job, that I NEED to take this job. It's full time with benefits.
However, I'll have to miss one practice a week. (Dropping my attendance to 50%)
And I have to work on Saturdays, meaning I would miss a lot of bouts.
He explained that once in a while, it's fine to ask for a Saturday off, but once a month is difficult, as the people who could take my shift are the him, and two other high up people, who don't want to work Saturdays.
Granted I can make up practices to get that 70% I need to be roster-able, and I don't need to be at every bout forever.
But I'm worried about the schedule.
Derby has changed me and made me better.
It has done a lot for me.
I have met some of the most incredible and influential people by being involved.
And while I can't live without a job anymore (without starving or becoming the smelly kid in class), I can't live without derby.
I need income, but I need derby, too.
I am such a mess of emotion- I'm excited about the prospect of a job that I won't hate, with really wonderful people, but really depressed about the derby I'll miss.
This is not my first big girl decision while being a part of SRG.
My first included bowing out of my first big girl bout because I wasn't healed yet, and I was afraid to hurt myself and my teammates with my sloppy freshly-back-from-injury skating.
Derby makes me face life head on.
I hate it and I love it.
I've never been confrontational. In fact, I've been passive-aggressive my whole life.
I've always suffered in silence, and dealt with mistreatment and rude people without a word.
Then I ran away to the desert.
Then I joined derby.
Then I quit my job.
Then I started becoming who I want to be, who I've always wanted to be.
Clearly this is a common theme in my blogs.
However, instead of writing about quitting, I'm writing about possibly accepting a sweet gig...
I'm kind of in full panic attack mode even thinking about quitting derby.
I don't think I can live without it.
I've been a much happier, much more fulfilled person since I've started.
I wish I didn't have to choose...
And I'm hoping that I won't have to.
I explained I'm still a rookie, and I don't have to play, or go to, as many away games, but that, as Bout Planning committee head, I have to be at home bouts.
...But I guess if I'm not playing, and bouts aren't mandatory, I don't necessarily have to be there... I can delegate and pass off the clipboard to someone in my committee who is equally as capable of keeping our teams in line...
Okay, so looking at this logically: There's a chance I might not even get rostered for all the Battle Broads games...
So, my schedule with BB, if I AM rostered for them all looks like this:
May: 2 bouts - 1 home, 1 away (TARG - Sunday; CoMo - Sunday)
June: 2 bouts - 1 home, 1 away (Rt66 - Saturday; Green Country - Sunday)
July: 1 bout - home - (MoKan - Saturday)
*Rollercon... oops! :D
August: 2 bouts - 1 home, 1 away (Team Unicorn (all stars)- Sunday; Rt66- Saturday)
September: 1 bout - home (OKVD - All Stars - Sunday)
October: 1 bout - home (St Chux - Sunday)
So, really, I have 3 Saturdays, and 1 week that I'm unavailable (which might include some Friday nights for driving time.. But hey, I know other girls have to work, so maybe we can get a non-derby person to drive the car, and we can sleep through the night.)
This list made me feel infinitely better.
Sigh. Okay. This is do-able. This can work out.
Now I just wait for them to call back!
So. Maybe use roller girls can have our cake, and eat it too!
Because, honestly, who doesn't love cake???
I'm glad that you are optimistic about this. It looks like an awesome opportunity! And even though you may have to miss some official derby events, those girls are and will still be your family even if you can't make it 70% of the time.
ReplyDeleteI say, eat the cake! :o)
It's all happening! It's all happening!
We're going to open that bakery, Sis. We're going to have our dreams. Trust me when I tell you that I know it's not easy to make those "big girl" choices.
ReplyDeleteI've been more than a little guilty of being jealous of you at times, Mel. You got what I wanted, what I couldn't have. College and dorms and friends and parties - and in the beginning, I really hated the thought I was going to lose you. We've let each other down over the years, because no one's perfect. We've had arguments, and we've been angry. But at the end of the day, you're my best friend. I don't care how many friends you make somewhere else, or how close you get to them, because I know what that means to me, AND to you. Every time we see each other, we get to pick up like we never left off, and I am so grateful to have such a strong, amazing woman in my life.
Trufax, yo. We're gonna open that bakery. We're going to have what we want. Because we have heart, and that's something you can't teach anyone.
I love you :] I'm so excited for where you are in life right now. I'm so excited to see where you can go, what you can do. You're an inspiration, and not just to me, but to these new sisters of yours, too.
You can always become a type A volunteer and learn to ref. SRG and ODB can always use refs then when you get the promotion you have more to offer the team since you can skate and ref.
ReplyDeleteHooray lists! Hooray big girl jobs! And I hate that people think you can't have a job, much less a job you like/love, and do derby - it's called amazing work-life balance, or at least the pursuit thereof.
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you. Especially with the possibility of the awesome job. Sometimes we have to give up what we want to get what we need. And then in the end, you'll take what you want.
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome. Get to it.