Vegas.

I haven't even gotten to my hotel yet - I've been staying with a dear pal these past 2 days doing, eating and seeing amazing things.

Today I had my first In And Out Burger experience. Ahhhmazing. I was full for, literally, 7 or 8 hours.
Then we went to a show on the Strip - Divas - if you haven't seen it, GO. Hilarious. So fun.
Plus, I love drag queens and gay boys. So, if you love them and good entertainmen, you should definitely go.
(Uh... plus Em got our tickets fo' free. WINNING.)

We came home immediately after to eat the chocolate pie she made this morning.
Best day ever? Probably.

What made it better? Receiving probably the cutest text of my life:
After telling him I never wanted to leave Vegas, he replied:
“Even though you’re reluctant to leave Vegas, may I only ask you set aside your grief momentarily to entertain the idea of a date?”

Super. Adorable.
I, of course, said absolutely.
He's a doll. (If you're reading this, Cute Boy, I hope you enjoy it ;D)

So I guess I actually have to leave Vegas in order to go on said date....

I will say, however, that Vegas is amazing.
The people, the food, the mountains, the Strip...
Everything is awesome. I'm so glad I came.

I told Em about my desire to open a steampunk-themed bakery, and how I worried about the market in Springfield not 'getting it'....
We talked about the serious lack of bakeries in Vegas - I mean, really.. there are zero bakeries here!

Plus, with the decor I'd like to choose, and the take out boxes and such... It would be such a better fit for a bigger, less conservative town...

I love it here. Even the weather is to my liking.
I don't mind the heat when I'm not sweating my balls off for no reason... (ahem, MidWest humidity....)
While we all know that Colorado would be my ideal place to live, Vegas is incredible... And I'm going to seriously consider moving here...
(Mom, if you're reading this - they have culinary school, here, too... And Em is willing to give me her spare room for a bit... So, no worries! I'm not going to pack up and leave immediately!)

BACK TO ROLLERCON....
The convention starts tomorrow, fairly early.
SRG Sister, Brawl Things Considered, is playing in the first bout.
Superdeduper proud of her and I wish I'd be there to watch her... but I have a Harry Potter date with Em!

I've decided to wait for my Riviera roommates to get into town before I start wondering around Rollercon all alone...
(If you know me, you'll know I'm slightly co-dependent - especially in new places/situations.... I always have to have a buddy with me!)
PLUS, my name is not on the room, so I have to wait for them to get here anyway.

So. After a matinee with Em, we'll head to the Riviera to put my crap in my room, show Em around, let Seven Deadly Shins and Em hug it out (Em, Seven and myself are all old friends)... and then probably go to a grocery store to buy food and booze for the week.

I am shocked at how much I'm NOT spending.
Granted, I spent a few dollars on a burger, bought a pair of shorts and a package of black tshirts at Target, and bought a bottle of Lysol, and an overpriced but worth-it giant alcoholic slushie... but for the most part - I've spent a rather low amount.
Yay me! And yay Em for knowing all the tricks of Vegas!

Anyway.
Tomorrow, the convention starts.
I'm sure I'll be a little calmer once I pull on my soffes and strap on my skates....

squeeeee!

PS, Kate, Seven Deadly Shins and I met Gavin Degraw :)

Rollercon!

In just a few days, I will board a plane and head to Vegas for the very first time.
My dear friend, Emmye is rescuing/entertaining me for my first 48ish hours in Vegas - Thank Heavens for her!

For 2 days, I get to relax and enjoy Vegas, the summer, and some quality time with Em.

But Wednesday, the convention starts!
I'm super de duper jazzed that Brawl Things Considered is letting me tag along with her on my first day of Rollercon, since she's an experienced Rollercon dame (and of course, she's wicked awesome). ;D

There are SO many classes I want to take, so many lectures and discussion and round tables, that it gets a tiny bit overwhelming. When do I eat? When do I sleep? How long will I be waiting in lines to get into the classes? :)
BUT. I will be with some of my favorite ladies in (and out) of SRG! Seven Deadly Shins, Shotgun Shell (and her lovely lady, The Haag), and Rusty Razorskates (who will always be an SRG lady at heart, but is now hanging with the ladies of Windy City) will be my roommates for this lovely journey. I couldn't be happier! What a bunch of stellar skaters, people, and friends.

Getting to the point! (I'm especially rambly today...)

People have been finding my blog searching for "Rollercon Checklist"...
So, if you're looking for one, I'm going to give it to you!

I've comprised the suggestions and thoughts of other skaters and my pals who live in/are familiar with Vegas to present to you this glorious list! I hope it helps out :D



ROLLERCON PACKING LIST

Misc Objects
Water bottles
Camelbak
Sunscreen
make up (the regular kind and the derby kind)
hair stuffs (straightener, brush, hairspray, bobby pins, hair ties, headbands...)
shower stuffs
deoderant.
febreeze
ibuprofen
duct tape
medical tape
hoodie
camera
notebook
tiny computer?
zune + headphones (or iPod or whatever....)
zune charger
phone charger
glasses/contacts
contact solution
cash
lotion
tooth stuffs
first aid kit
sunglasses
Lady items (if you need it that particular week...)

Clothes
Black practice shirts
White Practice Shirts
Sports bras
Real bras
SOCKS!
black and blue dress (or whatever you plan on wearing :D)
heels?
shoes (chucks, tennis shoes, flip flops)
jeans
shirts
yoga pants
tights
derby socks
shorts/hot pants
bandanas
swim suit

Gear
2 wristguards *write your name on your shit
2 knee pads
2 elbow pads
helmet
mouthguard
skates
extra wheels
tools

I will more than likely update this until Sunday, in case I forgot anything.

I hope this helps Seven Deadly Shins out - I know she's been waiting for it ;D

This, too, shall pass.

I'm forcing myself to write this so I can be reminded why life doesn't suck that bad:
-I have a place to live.
-I have food, even if it is ramen.
-I have clean water. (I spent all last summer in a third world country where we had to buy bottled water everyday - this is a big deal.)
-I have a car (even though it has no gas... Someone should give me new tires for my bike... lol)
-I'm finishing my education even though I've had to jump through a lot of hoops to do it.
-I am literate, I have the opportunity to get education, in this country, as a women.
-My family is full of incredible people.
-My extended-not-blood-related family is full of incredible people.
-I am healthy and I am young.
-I have people in my life that will provide me with help/support if I just ask for it.

On the not-so-bright side...here's the story.
This week (well.. yesterday) I found out that it's 99% sure I will not graduate this summer, like I'd planned.
I've been in school for SEVEN years. Seven.
Some things have happened to keep me in school - but that's neither here nor there, and I've already blogged about it anyway...
The length is not the important part - it's that I had light at the end of the tunnel - I had planned my last semester with my Advisor AND the department secretary to ensure THREE times over that I had all my credits taken care of.
Somehow the 3 of us missed a class. I literally have NO Idea how.
I spoke with the Dept Head. She said there was nothing she could do.
I emailed the registrar - they said there has to be somehow to waive or get around it, and to contact my dept head.
I emailed the secretary instead - she loves me and is a TCB kind of lady.
She said she would look into it, and see what she could do.
I almost cried with relief.
But I won't get my hopes up.
I'm hoping for the best, but won't be surprised with the worse.
See, because of the University, I've become extremely good at creating Plan B's all the time.
Make a plan - assume it will fall through because the school sucks - create Plan B.
(Someone is going to google "Plan B" and find my blog, I'm sure of it. lol)
My Plan B is: Meet with the Dept Head, see if I can student teach and graduate with two degrees, instead of one. If I have to take ONE class in the fall, I'm gonna make it worth it.
Plan C (yes, I have one)... Take the class at MSU, begin culinary classes at OTC.
Plan D (yes... I have one)... take the class, get a full time job. (Granted, the job will be a given. I'm getting one, dang it.)
So, I've done as much as I could to fix that situation. Whatever happens happens, and I have to ride the wave.

In other news, I still do not have a job... My student loan money was $1,000 less than they said it was going to be - therefore, it did not even cover my student bill. Which means my gas tank will remain empty for a while longer, and I will continue to munch on ramen.

However, the worst parts about that loan money include not being able to pay for my dues/bout planning stuff this month, and, Rollercon. My plane ticket is paid for, my MVP pass is paid for... but alas, I don't have the monies to feed or enjoy myself while IN Vegas.

And what breaks my heart even further is that if I can't get my shit together, and if things don't start going better.. There's a big fat chance I might have to quit derby altogether.

Don't worry. I've already had a break down about that very option.
It's just that sometimes even derby girls have to make decisions that are fiscally responsible, and are, maybe, just maybe, not in the best interest of their derby careers.

But I've never been called responsible... and I can't bring myself to do it - I can't quit derby.
Derby has saved me - and continues to save me every single day.
Leaving derby would be like leaving a lover, a best friend, a church, a symphony.
Leaving derby would rip out my heart. It would tear away the faith (in humanity, in myself, in a higher power/religion, in women, in men, in life) I've regained.
Leaving derby would break me more than I've ever been broken - and trust me, I'm no stranger to breaking.


See, here's the thing. We all joke about quarter-life crisises... crises? crisis?
But it's not a joke.
When did the decade of our 20s become the most difficult one?
The time when you're fresh out of college (you, not me...hahaa), looking for a job, in limbo about everything... It's hard.
It's a strange in-between of being a kid and being an adult.. People telling you that you're too young, you're too old, you're not experienced, you're too experienced, you don't have enough credentials, you have too many credentials....

My plans have changed a lot.
When I was in high school, with my high school sweetheart, we decided we'd get married when I was a first year teacher, so that when he graduated I could help put him through law school. We broke up. lol
When I was in college, I planned on a 4 year double major.. but changed my mind. Did I really want to teach english? Or history? Or poetry? Or did I want to be a photographer? My path changed. It took this long to discover I want to be a baker.
Later in college, I fell madly in love with The Ex. We discussed our future, and what kind of house we wanted to buy, we decided on an October wedding.. We broke up.
What's meant to be will be, nothing more, nothing less.

I was supposed to be married.. a house owner... white picket fence, 2.5 kids, a cat and a dog... Full time job, insurance, new car, monies to pay bills...

But shit changes. People change. Plans go awry. And that's life.
If The Ex taught me one thing it was that you just have to ride the wave and enjoy life. (Granted, I think he drinks a lot now....? I guess he really is riding the wave... hahaaa Oh well. Not my problem anymore.)
Maybe that's how we get past our Quarter Life Crisis... maybe we just weather the storm with good people around us and hope that it ends soon....

So, I will put my big girl panties on again, and I will pull up my boot straps and I will stop being a wiener, and I'll get on with it.

I will finish the work I'm currently doing for Jailhouse Jenny, and I will finish touching up my resume, and I will apply for more jobs.
Someone will hire me.
Things will look up.
This, too, shall pass.

The Road to Rollercon

I almost called this "Part One"... because I'm sure there will be more parts to come as we all plan on the biggest derby trip until Nationals...

Whew. It's been a rough road. There has been miscommunication that has lead to hurt feelings, and lots of me bitching, and feeling like I've been kicked out of my original hotel room, and posting on the Rollercon forums for a roommate, and finding a roommate, then realizing there's an option of sleeping on a pull-out in an SRG room...

And then realizing I've been a big ol' baby, and maybe, just maybe I should have solidified my plans instead of assuming things.
(Which granted, I thought it was a safe assumption that I would be rooming with the teammate I ordered my MVP pass and my plane ticket with... BUT. we all know what assuming does....)

So. I've begun a checklist, I'm starting my ridiculous daily schedule so I don't miss anything, and I'm getting excited.
Because no matter what happens - if I room with my teammates or if I room with Hellena Skirt from RIP Roller Girls in Cali... I'll have lots and lots of fun.


So, let's talk about this amazingly jam-packed schedule for athletic training and lecture/discussion times..

Just on the first day, we have amazing things happening.
At noon, there are literally 3 sessions I want to go to:
-Baby Got Back with Quadzilla
-Beyond the Bout: Reach them and Teach Them with Queen-B
and
-P-Derby-X with Isabelle Ringer (which requests you bring sneakers and a towel, because you're going to sweat your balls off.)

SIGH.
That's just at NOON the FIRST day.
So much to see, so much to learn, what's a girl to do??

Some of my teammates and I have decided we're going to party hard the night of the Black and Blue Ball, but we're ultimately there to learn a lot, and bring it back to the league.
I think we have a really good mix of rockin' Veteran All-Stars, bangin' Battle Broads (both veteran and rookie), and even some Derby Haag's and widows. (Or widowers, since that's grammatically correct!)

I think it's going to be a really good time...
However, while I'm at it - I'd like YOUR help compiling a list of crap to pack.
Whether you're experience in the ways of Rollercon or you're experience in the ways of shitty Vegas weather- I'm sure you'll have something to add to this!!

So far I will:
Bring my camelbak and nalgene water bottle...
And pack my gear in a carry-on.

What are your thoughts about Rollercon? Classes? Packing? Travelling?

Derby Hurts.

I've taken 3 hard falls on my tush since I've started derby.
Yes. I remember them.

1. The first night I got moved up to the All-Stars track so we could make room for the brand new newbies. We were doing the push drill - the choo-choo train as we sometimes call it. I was the last person in line, which means I stay in skater's position and am pushed the whole time, until the last lap. Keep in mind, I was still fairly new and my sprinting/cross-over skills - and let's face it - my form = were not good. I ATE SHIT. I actually think I took one of my skate wheels up my ass now that I think about it... There's a really lovely photo on the FB, which I think I'll share with you now. (I'm a roller girl - I've jumped in a pool fully clothed, posted ridiculous youtube video responses to My Drunk Kitchen... I've fallen asleep with a trash can in my hands because I had the liquor room spins... I have no shame left.)


No, no.. Don't worry about calling me pretty - I know I am ;D
After I fell that first time, my tailbone has never been the same. I can't sit for too long, my squats/lunges are atrocious... Sandra Day O'Slaughter, the derby big sis, simply said "I bet you'll always lean forward from now on, huh?" I said, "I know... Nipples over knees..."
I am 80% certain I broke my tailbone during that fall.


2. Scrimmaging last week. I tripped on my own geedee feet, and fell on my ass... I tried to catch myself with my hand... and ended up with a sweet bruise on my palm.. and sitting out the rest of the scrimmage. This is a moment when Seven Deadly Shins would physically abuse me and say "ROOKIES OF THE YEAR DON'T NOTICE PAIN".



3. Tonight. We were doing re-assessments for Charter purposes.. to see if anyone needs to be moved up or down. On a drill where we sprint a quarter of the track, then come to a complete stop, then sprint... over and over.. I snow plowed into my second stop line.... and proceeded to not just fall on my left cheek, but also fall into the splits. This was a very FML moment. (The only time I mess up big is when the All Stars are watching!!) They cheered for me to get up, even though I was sure I was leaving a whole butt cheek on the floor...
I have NEVER fall on my tush while snow plowing. WTF.
Anyway. It feels like.. well, it feels like death. Sitting hurts. Standing hurts. Walking hurts...



Who knows. Maybe I didn't break my tail bone the first time.. maybe I did it this time. But it's not a bone hurt. It's a muscle hurt. Which is the most geedee bizarre feeling evar.
I honestly have no idea if this is a strain or a tear or a giant deep bruise...

So I, of course, googled that shit.. and common sense is all I found...
Oh, cool, Livestrong.. something a derby girl would never think of! RICE. Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation.. plus a heating pad.

Who wants to rest because their ass hurts? Not this girl! SIGH. But alas, I think I may have to take Thursday night off. My butt HURTS. We'll see what happens tomorrow.


Morals of the story:
1. Tuesday sucked
2. Derby hurts.
3. I cannot be the only person in derby who has an ouchie ass.

Avoiding the Burnout (through the eyes of a rookie)

We all know the feeling when we first start skating.
You're filled with glee, excitement, new ideas - you absolutely cannot wait to put your skates on your feet and get on the track with all your rookie teammates... your new drafted team...

There's a buzz. A high when you first start derby.
It's all you think about, all you talk about.
Your non-derby friends get tired of hearing you talk about derby. Your (biological) family tires of hearing you talk about derby.
Maybe the fresh excitement and busy schedule causes your boyfriend/girlfriend to tire of you...

But no one gets it unless they skate, too.
No one understand the adrenaline, the speed, the sweat, the determination.
No one understands the lessons we learn practice after practice, getting knocked down, getting back up (whether it's immediately, or crawling to our feet... or off the track so the practice can keep going while we nurse whatever chronically-injured part of our body hurts the most that day)....

No one gets it quite like derby kids.

2, 3, 4, 5 days of practice a week - plus additionals.
7 weekends in a row of derby games.
Committee meetings.
Board meetings.
Fundraisers.
Benefits.
Event planning meetings.
Email after email after email.
Not being able to hang out with skaters without the conversation turning to Derby.
Bout day.
Not getting rostered.
Getting rostered.
Injuries.
Not being able to pay dues.
Selling tickets... or not selling tickets.
Buying bout-day supplies, and keeping track of said expenditures.
Needing a bandaid because your non-skate bout shoes gave you a big ugly blister...


You get the point.
We pride ourselves on being skater owned and operated, and we pride ourselves in doing it as a league, as a team - but we get so bogged down with all the things we have to do, and we forget to enjoy what derby is about.

Last night after practice, I was feeling a bit crab-ass and overwhelmed.
Half of roller derby is not taking things personally - but I took something silly personally; it hurt my feelings and got me all worked up.
It was nothing. NOTHING. But I took it personally.
I was feeling super crabby and down about it.

So, I twittered about my stress/anxiety/stupid hurt feelings.
A derby sister/BB teammate texted me.
"Hey. I saw your tweet. Come over."

So I did.
At midnight, I drove to her apartment because I needed a proverbial ass-kicking/slap-in-the-face for being ridiculous... and maybe some coddling.

We sat on her balcony, had a few crappy beers and talked for 3 hours.
I think that what I loved best was that we both chatted our our stresses, our anxieties, our hurt feelings.. and then we moved on to real life topics.. like family, and jobs and dating.

Although we are grown up women... we're still a group of women.
We still have disagreements, we still have concerns and lots of things to bitch about..

And yeah, cutting the shit - I get a little wah-wah sometimes. I'm a girl! I have hormones! It happens!
It usually passes, and when it doesn't, I talk to a teammate.
Which brings me back to my original point - avoiding the burnout.

It's easy to get burnt out, we all know this.
It's far easier to let league business, and grievances and whatever drama there may be and derby crushes and... everything.. get you down, make you pissy and crabby and threaten to quit.
(And PS, if you don't know how that feels A, you're damn lucky and B, maybe you should get more involved in your league lol)


So. How do we avoid the burnout?
Here's, in my infinite rookie wisdom, how I think we can avoid the burnout...

-Have someone on your team be a trusted friend.. not a teammate, not a league sister.. but a trusted friend that you can bitch to, and she won't judge you.

-Talk about what's bothering you. Maybe you're being irhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifrational or ridiculous... but maybe you're not. And maybe your concern is actually valid. An objective opinion could help you decide.

-Take a break. Have a derby free day. Or..

-Go skating just for the hell of it and remember why you love it. Strap on your skates and your Sonics or Sugars or whatever you're rolling on.. and go skating. Feel the wind, enjoy the sunshine, take a friend.. I used to take my old roomie, Ellie, skating with me. She'd be on her inlines, and I'd be rocking my quads, and we'd just enjhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifoying the path or the weather or laugh a lot when one or the other fell down...

-Do something physical that isn't derby. Again, Ellie used to make me go running.. I loved it, because it made me feel good, and all I had to think about was my stride and my breathing.

-Look forward to things. This month my league was accepted into full WFTDA status, something we've been working towards for a long, long time. It is a HUGE deal - we can be ranked, perhaps attend Regionals, maybe someday Nationals... SO EXCITING. SOOOOOO, I'm excited for our WE'RE LEGIT party tomorrow. It's a time to hang out with the team outside of practice/bouts/meetings. And as excited as I am for the Legit party, I am equally as excited to to street clean-up tomorrow! I love the volunteering/community development side of Derby. LOVE. I love volunteering. love love love!

-Consider the place you want to be in the league. For me, it's Rookie of the Year.. it's a spot on the All-Stars.. it's being a hard, hard hitter... Which makes me work all that much harder.


Basically... talk it out, look forward to things, and work harder...
Although the latter seems a bit ironic, it's not.

Oh, and also?
Don't take things so damn personal.. which is what I need to work on the most.
:)